Not in Kansas Anymore, Thank God – (Dorothy Must Die)

Dorothy Must Die (Dorothy Must Die #1)
Author: Danielle Paige
Published: 2014

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Rated W for some wicked crazy witch bitches with a smidge of addiction to magic. This isn’t Oz anymore.

 

I didn’t ask for any of this.

I didn’t ask to be some kind of hero.

Amy Gumm, the other girl from Kansas, didn’t ask to be brought to Oz, via tornado no less. Sure, her life in Dusty Acres sucks. Her mom is a junkie and a drunk who could care less about her existence. The girls at school bully her.

Landing in Oz, this magical land Amy grew up believing was make-believe, she’s shocked that it’s not all yellow brick road and munchkins. There’s a dark wickedness over the land. And her name is Dorothy. Shocking, right? She’s supposed to be good. She destroyed the wicked witch of the freaking west.

She’s twisted Oz with her magic and selfish bratty ways. Munchkins are slaves. Her friends: Tin Man, Scarecrow, and the Cowardly Lion are now horrifying monsters. Everybody must follow Dorothy’s crazy rules or else worse things than torture will happen to them.

Brought into the Order of the Wicked, she’ll be trained to be wicked by some of the baddest witches of Oz for one important purpose. To kill Dorothy. Easier said than done.

 

The Dorothy Must Die series is one of the series on my New Year’s resolution and this is book 1 of 4.

 

I’ve read some twisted fairy tales before and I find them to be very interesting. I’ve never read a twisted tale on The Wizard of Oz. This wasn’t a read that had me hopelessly addicted. It didn’t, but damn was I entertained. This was wild and shocked me a bit a few times. And let me tell you, nobody is safe.

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Giphy

So much originality added to a good tale. Everything is flipped upside down and all around. I couldn’t put this down because I honestly just wanted to see how much crazier this would get. LOL. Was there an emotional attachment? Nah. Sometimes it’s about the fun of a story. That and seeing what happens at the end.

Amy is so spunky. Pink hair, loads of disgruntled commentary, and really hates secrets and being left in the dark about important info. She’s not the common protagonist. In fact, she didn’t even want to be the protagonist. It’s quite hilarious. Her allies, because they do not seem like much of friends, Ollie, the wingless monkey, Nox, a wicked, as well as a few other witches, are pretty salty ones too. I couldn’t get enough of the banter with all of the characters. It’s bold and snappy.

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Tenor

Oz is exactly as I would’ve imagined it. A sugar high with a side of acid. Acid, the drug, not the skin peeling chemical. With Dorothy, it’s freaking creepy, reminding me—and if you folks have ever played PC games, yes, the ones that required CDS then you might know this one…possibly—of McGee’s Alice. Twisted landscapes with twisted characters, which you have to fix. LOL. Pretty wicked. Nostalgic with old Oz touches, but also new and horrifying. Who knew eh?

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Giphy

 

Overall

I really enjoy how this story feels like a parallel universe, yet not. It’s like a sequel nobody ever realized. It doesn’t quite make the favorites, but it’s fun and unexpected and certainly has a spot on my bookshelves. Worth the read guys.

 

Quotables:

“I first discovered I was trash three days before my ninth birthday…” (Amy, p. 1)

“I didn’t know what was worse: to have your shot and screw it up, or to never have had a shot in the first place.” (Amy, p. 5)

“No rest for the wicked, is there, Amy.” (Glamora, p. 129)

“It’s not magic that makes you who you are. It’s the choices that you make. Look at Dorothy.” (Nox to Dorothy, p. 155)

“Those who have sacrificed always have the most to lose.” (The Wizard to Amy, p. 298)

“Doing Good had been uglier than I’d expected it to be. And the price…the price now was feeling like I needed to always be looking over my shoulder.” (Amy, p. 365)

 

More to come soon…

  -K.

 

 P. S. Song today? All These Things That I Have Done by The Killers.

 

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What You Don’t Know About Fairy Tales (A Wild Swan: And Other Tales – A Book Review)

A Wild Swan: And Other Tales
Author: Michael Cunningham
Published: 2015

On Goodreads

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23/25

 

Most of us are safe.

If you’re not a delirious dream the gods are having, if your beauty doesn’t trouble the constellations, nobody’s going to cast a spell on you.

Fairy tales come with a twisted twist. Here come the classic stories we know with poison apples, a princess with incredibly long hair, a house made of gingerbread and gumdrops. But, these are thee moments nobody imagined. Lazy Jack prefers living in mom’s basement until he trades their precious cow for magic beans. It turns out it’s not always happily ever after with Snow White and her prince. A tiny, malformed man will go to great lengths to have a child of his own to take care of, even threaten the woman he helped make queen.

 

This book marks 23 out of 25 authors, from my New Year’s resolution, that I’ve never read from before. I get so swept away at the prospect of fairy tales and these ones piqued my curiosity.

 

I didn’t know what to expect with this book. It seems pretty bland and nothing special on the outside. I only just noticed that the font is braided hair on the cover which is *shiver* creepy. It was the and Other Tales that snagged my attention, and I certainly didn’t expect retelling of fairy tale. I’m so glad I read this book.

The illustrations of this book were amazing! I was blown away by them. Done in black and white, the art brought a unique visual to the stories. They’re intriguing and horrifying and beautiful.

From the hag witch of Hansel and Gretel to Snow White and her prince to a part prince part swan. This collection of tales took on many tales I don’t think many people would think to add sugar, spice and a crap-ton of chemical-X to. There were so many different POVs that haven’t been explored enough. Cunningham went up and beyond in exploring the lives of some of these characters that we never thought to go beyond the story with. It was fascinating and I was hooked. I never thought about how the hag witch of Hansel and Gretel came to live deep in the woods in a candy house. Not really. And the explanation of how idiotic Jack is for trading his cow for beans had me laughing so hard.

Love it

The tone of this book really captured my attention. It was sarcastic and bitter and humorous. I swear at times I could hear my one professor narrating in my head. There was NO FILTER. I figured that out pretty quickly too. I was laughing so much from the sarcasm, but as I tell many people, sarcasm is my first language. English came second. LOL.

More than this though, I was taken by how much I could compare to the world I live in as well as the parts that acted as a revelation. These tales weren’t just entertaining, but enlightening and dark and honest and relatable. There’s jealousy, heartbreak, the great human flaw of never being satisfied, fear, and pity. It was so unexpected and dark.

There are some tales I loved more than others such as:

Crazy Old Lady

Poisoned

Little Man

 

Overall

I’m really glad I read this. It was entertaining and even more, it was shocking. I didn’t expect this. This take on fairy tales was real and raw and dark. Definitely a keeper.

 

Quotables:

“Most of us can be counted on to manage our own undoings.” (Dis. Enchant., p. 3)

“It’s the solitude that slays you. Maybe because you’d expected ruin to arrive in a grander and more romantic form.” (Crazy Old Lady, p. 15)

“One of the reasons ordinary people are incapable of magic is simple dearth of conviction.” (Little Man, p. 66)

“Sometimes the fabric that separated us tears just enough for love to shine through. Sometimes thee tear is surprisingly small.” (Steadfast: Tin, p. 88)

 

More to come soon…

-K.

 

P.S. Song Today? Don’t Let Me Go by Raign.

 

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